In recent (and prolonged) conversations on the meaning of “natural born citizen” with birther “MichaelN,” and despite a good deal of patience on my part, I finally came to a point of some frustration. It just seemed as if Michael and I were speaking two different languages.
And then, all of a sudden, it hit me… that was it!
We were speaking two different languages!
This exciting discovery — that Birthers are a separate ethnolinguistic group with their own distinct language and terminology — is a linguistic breakthrough that promises to promote far, far greater understanding of the Birther movement and of Birther terminology. It also promises to greatly relieve the stress and frustration that many ordinary Americans encounter when attempting to converse with Birthers.
The reason this is such a frustration reliever is that — with a proper understanding of the meaning of Birther terms — statements that appear to normal people to be frustratingly and even obviously false (for example, that “Barack Obama is absolutely and undeniably not eligible to be President, because even though born in Honolulu, he is not a natural born citizen” or that “Obama’s birth certificate is clearly and indisputably a fake” ) are surprisingly revealed to be true after all. It’s all just a misunderstanding!
Unfortunately, the realization that Birthers speak a somewhat separate language has been hindered until today by two very confusing factors.
First, the terms that they use — being etymologically derived from English — tend to bear an extremely close similarity to certain English-language terms that often have quite different meanings. Many, in fact, are spelled the same, and even pronounced the same, as confusingly similar English-language words with different meanings. Because of this, one must often carefully consider the context to help determine whether a term belongs to the English language, or to the Birther dialect.
Secondly, they use ordinary English as a basis and foundation for their speech, substituting Birther only in particular words. In that sense, Birther is only a semi-language, or a derivative dialect, similar to a “Creole” language.
These two confusing factors have combined, until now, to prevent the widespread realization of Birther as a separate linguistic identity. It is true that one or two individuals in the past have recognized this dynamic and have made previous abortive attempts to compile a “Birther Dictionary.” However, to my knowledge and belief, the Dictionary that I present today, while concise, represents the most complete effort so far to define and understand the Birther dialect.
And so, without further ado, I would like to present the First Edition of the Birther-English Dictionary — in the hopes that it will greatly ease future English–Birther–English communication.
The Birther-English Dictionary (First Edition)
Important note: In order to distinguish between confusingly similar English-language terms and Birther-dialect terms, standard English-language words are presented in normal type. Birther terms are italicized. The style of the examples — in which Birther words are inserted almost at random into English-language sentences which are used as a foundation — is typical of the Birther speech pattern.
alien – n., 1. a foreigner. 2. Barack Obama.
attorney – n., a person who has a law license. No actual legal skill, experience in filing lawsuits or valid arguments are necessarily implied.
Example: Orly Taitz, Leo Donofrio and Mario Apuzzo are attorneys.
Birther – n., a person who speaks the truth. [See truth.]
brief – n., a document, so named or described, filed by an attorney in a court of law. This need not necessarily make valid legal arguments; it need not necessarily be well-written; it need not necessarily contain standard features such as a table of contents; and it most definitely is not required to be brief.
Example: Have you read Mr. Apuzzo’s 199-page brief in the case of Kerchner v. Obama?
challenge – n., a legal action with no chance or hope of success.
Example: Commander Kerchner’s (Ret) Obama Ballot Challenge Hearing in Pennsylvania Set for March 1st, 2012 (BirtherReport.com)
citizen – n., 1. a citizen. 2. a natural-born citizen.
Example: The Supreme Court found Wong Kim Ark to be a citizen [def. 2], not a natural born citizen. [See natural born citizen.]
con man – n., See jerk.
Constitution – n., a particular Birther’s fantasized ideal of what he imagines the Constitution of the United States to have been. [See also intention.]
definition – n., a non-exclusive, sufficient but not necessary condition.
Example: The Supreme Court in Minor v. Happersett gave a definition of “natural born citizen.”
distortion – n., an accurate representation. See lie.
eligible – adj., meeting with Birther approval.
Example: Barack Obama is not eligible to be President.
evidence – n., a completely unsubstantiated or invalid allegation; hearsay.
Example: At the Georgia hearing, Orly Taitz presented reams of evidence in support of the fact that Mr. Obama is not eligible to be President.
expert – n., a person who supports the truth. No particular level of skill or professionalism is required or implied.
Example: More than twenty different experts all agree that Obama’s birth certificate is a forgery.
expertise – n., a lack of ability; or, a lack of experience.
Example: Attorney Leo Donofrio brings significant expertise to the question of Obama’s Constitutional eligibility.
Example: That lying Obot has no expertise for discussing this issue.
fake – adj., containing superficial anomalies that arouse Birther suspicions but which have been shown to be striking but unimportant. n. a document having such anomalies.
Example: Barack Obama’s birth certificate is clearly a fake.
fallacy – n., any fact or valid argument that a particular Birther doesn’t like.
Example: You really need to do something about your paranoia and pathetic reliance on fallacy. (MichaelN)
foreigner – n., See alien.
fraud – n., 1. a fake. 2. a jerk; a con man.
hack – n., 1. an Obot who has no expertise. [Translated into English, this means “any person, of any political persuasion, who denies the [claims that Barack Obama is ineligible], and has no [lack of ability] to demonstrate that such claims are invalid.”] 2. any judge who rules against a Birther challenge.
hypocrite – n., 1. a person who is not willing to tell the truth unless it’s actually the truth. 2. a person who passes up the opportunity to become famous in Birther circles or to make money selling “eligibility” goods to the willing and eager Birther audience, preferring instead to deal in facts and reality.
idiot – n., a person (of any intelligence) who questions or disbelieves the truth; [synonym: moron].
ineligible – adj., 1. having had non-citizen parents at birth. 2. having the name of Barack Obama. 3. not meeting with Birther approval.
integrity – n., consistency with the truth.
intention – n., [as applied to the Founding Fathers], a Birther’s fantasized idea of what he imagines the actual intention of the Founding Fathers to have been. [See Constitution.]
jerk – n., a person who politely points out the falsity of Birther arguments.
law – n., the outcome politically desired by Birthers, without regard to precedent or legal consensus.
Example. We are fighting for the rule of law.
liar – n., someone who tells the truth, even when it conflicts with the truth.
lie – n., a statement containing factual, substantiated points, which do not confirm Birther hopes.
Example: “John Woodman has filled the Internet with lies and distortions.” (Mario Apuzzo) [See distortion.]
lying – participle adj., presenting factual, reasoned arguments.
Minor v. Happersett – n., an 1875 Supreme Court case in which the Court gave a definition [see definition] of “natural born citizen,” which Birthers claim meant natural born citizen. [See natural born citizen.]
moron – n., an idiot. [alt. spelling: moran — not to be confused with Daryn Moran, the former US Air Force Staff Sgt. and birther who went to Washington, DC in September 2011 seeking “to arrest Obama” because Obama had a fake birth certificate.]
natural born citizen – n., also Article II natural born citizen; a person born on US soil of two parents who are both US citizens. Note that a “natural born citizen” in Birther is NOT the same thing as a “natural born citizen” in English. This is similar to how in German, “hell” means “bright or very well lit.” And “Gift” means “poison” — which is why Germans like to have their photos taken in front of “Gift Shops” for the amusement of their friends back home.
Example: There is nothing in the Wong Kim Ark decision that suggests that the Court declared Wong Kim Ark an Article II “natural born Citizen” and therefore eligible to be President. (Mario Apuzzo)
native-born citizen – n., a person born in the United States who is not a [in English, not Birther] natural-born citizen. This term is not to be confused with the very similar English-language term “native-born citizen,” which means a person born on US soil, who is thereby also a natural born citizen. There is no word in English for the Birther concept of native-born citizen, since, legally speaking, such a person does not appear to exist.
Obot – n., any person, of any political persuasion whatsoever, who denies the truth; without any regard to whether they support Barack Obama or not.
paranoia – n., disagreement with Birther doctrine.
pathetic – adj., Birther-unapproved; at variance with Birther opinion.
patriot – n., any person who supports Birther goals, for any reason including personal gain of fame, money, sense of importance, etc. This is distinguished from the English word “patriot,” which means any American who loves his country and supports the actual Constitution and the actual intentions of the Founding Fathers, whatever those may have been.
proof – n., a stronger and more impressive word for evidence.
proven – adj., alleged; claimed; esp. referring to allegations, however weak, mistaken or invalid, made by a Birther.
Example: Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a proven forgery.
stooge – n., 1. a hack [def. 2]. 2. an idiot.
subpoena – n., any document filed by an attorney ordering action on the part of a non-Birther, whether legally valid or not.
traitor – n., any person who fails to support the truth, or who is not a patriot.
truth – n., any claim whatsoever that supports the idea that Barack Obama is not legally President of the United States, whether based in fact or reality, or not.
win – v., past tense: won. 1. to have all of one’s arguments embarrassingly destroyed. Example: “I won the debate against that lying Obot.” 2. to be given the opportunity for your case to be heard on its merits, with approximately 1 chance out of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 of success.
Example: “I won!!! I won!!! I won!!! Judge Malihi ruled in my favor. Obama’s motion to quash my subpoena is denied!” (Orly Taitz, prior to the hearing in Georgia)
Wong Kim Ark – n., an 1898 Supreme Court case in which the Court determined that Wong Kim Ark, born in the United States of two Chinese national parents, was a citizen [def. 2].
Copyright (C) 2012. International and film rights reserved.
[Note: This post, being rather tongue-in-cheek, is obviously different from virtually all of my previous posts, which have been devoted to the attempt to seriously analyze and promote understanding of the issues. It’s arisen out of my experience in discussion with birthers, and particularly with MichaelN, of watching him repeatedly deny factual points that clearly disprove his arguments.
And as with so many birthers, it doesn’t seem to matter how many different arguments he presents that have been factually shot down. It doesn’t matter how strong the evidence is against his points. He will always return either to repeat claims that have already been disproven, or with some new angle — apparently hoping to find one single point in support of his position that cannot be clearly shown to be clearly invalid, so that on that one indefinite and dubious point he might be able to declare that his claims have been “proven.”
So how does one come up with a “Birther-English” dictionary? It’s fairly simple. In most cases, you can simply take a birther claim that is known to be invalid, unsupported, or outright false. Then, assume that the sentence is instead true — and redefine one or more major terms in the manner required to turn the sentence into a true one.
The fact that I am publishing this is frankly an illustration of the degree to which I have now seen “birthers” — for various reasons — consistently twist and deny truth. Their widespread twisting and denial of truth, and their promotion of sheer propaganda, is frankly frustrating. Anyone who actually values truth and integrity should be frustrated at what so many of the “birthers,” like Michael, are doing to our public discourse.
I have no objection whatsoever to people opposing Mr. Obama on the basis of his politics, policies, and actions as President. In fact, if I weren’t spending so much of my time making a case for truth, accuracy and integrity in our public discourse, I would probably be spending more of that time opposing Obama myself.
But if you are going to make a case against someone, then make a case based on the truth and on sound law — not on misconceptions, twisting of facts and case law, and in some cases, what certainly very much appears to be outright propaganda and lies.
All of that sounds — and is — reasonable. The problem, of course, with “birthers” applying that is that in order to do so, they’re going to have to leave birtherism behind, and dig into new and real issues — such as Mr. Obama’s actual policies, and whether or not they are actually likely to be good for the country. If they do that, then they will no longer be “birthers.” That would appear to be a “cost,” and yet I can’t see why any person of honesty and integrity would mind terribly much leaving birtherism behind. The reason for that, of course, is the same reason I noted in my earlier post, “Why the Birthers Lost.”
It is that it should now be clear (at least, to anyone who has taken the time to understand the points on both sides made so far) that birtherism, on all fronts, has factually failed.]